Tag Archives: premarital sex

How One Guy Found the Key to Amazing Sex

SexNotAmazing

A guest post by Andrew Hamlet

I picked up some night shifts at the group home where I worked. Figured it would be some easy money because the residents were asleep. Besides I was going to be working with Chris and despite not getting to work together a lot, we got along.

Our conversation started out very normal that night. Hi. How are you? I’m good.  Standard banter for us. Then Chris got quiet. He moved passed the door that separated the two halves of the house and said, “Can I ask you a serious question?”

“Sure, why not?” I replied.

“You’re a Christian right?”

 “Yes, I am.”

“I’m just gonna come out and say it. I love my girlfriend, but I don’t know…the sex is just ok.”

Chris and I had never talked on this level. I was taken aback just for a moment. And then I responded with an equally serious question.

“I need you to be honest. How often do you watch porn and masturbate?”   His eyes went wide and then his head dropped a little.

“A lot,” he said.

“Chris, I’m not judging you right now. I can’t say that I’ve been perfect in that area at all. But what I’m getting at is this: using porn to take care of yourself is robbing your sex life. You’re creating a fantasy world that your girl cannot live up to and frankly, shouldn’t have to.”

Understanding seemed to flood his eyes at that moment.

“You’re not suggesting that I stop having sex with my girlfriend, are you?  ‘Cause I don’t think that I could do that,” Chris said.

“That would be the best, but how about this?”  The Holy Spirit, at that moment, just filled my mouth with words. “You stop watching porn and masturbating I promise your sex with your girlfriend will be the best it has ever been. Do you think you can do that for a month?” I said

Chris thought for a moment and told me he’d try.

A month went by and the first shift with Chris since our conversation was coming up. I wondered if he had stuck to the deal.   Did he give my crazy idea any thought?   I was also praying to God I wasn’t wrong – that abstaining for porn and masturbating did really make sex better.

We got to the house, did our rounds making sure that residents were settled in.

Chris could hardly contain himself.   He looked at me, grabbing both my shoulders.

“It worked. Andrew, it was the best sex I had ever had!”

He couldn’t wipe the smile of his face. I let him bask in the realization for a moment.

“I wasn’t wrong, was I?” I said

“No. I never imagined it could be like this,” Chris grinned.

“You know what I’m going to say now Chris, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Imagine how awesome the sex could be if you waited till you were married,” I said.

“ I know, Andrew. I know, but I can’t do that,” Chris exclaimed.

“I know, Chris. You can’t.  You need Jesus to do that.”

Chris paused a moment, then spoke

“I know what your saying. I’m just not there yet.”

Chris walked to the other side of the group and it remained silent between us for rest of the night.

A few weeks passed and not a day went by that I didn’t think of Chris’ statement. I wondered, Should I have pushed him that night? Did I miss a chance to have Chris meet Jesus?

Another late shift came up and I took it. I was surprised to see Chris since he had already worked the day shift, but it wasn’t uncommon to do a double at our jobs. Turns out, Chris had another reason for picking up that shift.

Just as the house was settling for the night Chris passed through the door and he uttered this simple words: “Andrew, I need Him.” I was so caught of guard by his statement that I answered, “Need who?”

Chris paused and spoke again. “I need Jesus. I need what you have. I don’t want to go another day without knowing what you know.”

Wow, I thought to myself. Is this really happening? Is God about to use to me lead this young man to Christ?

We prayed right there in the group home that Chris would receive all that God had for him, that he would become a son of the King.

Chris got engaged a few weeks later, determined to find some accountability to help him abstain from sex with his fiancee until they became married.

I got call many months later.

“Chris, is that you?” I said “Aren’t you suppose to be on your honeymoon?”

“I am. Just had to call and tell you it was worth waiting for. I had the best sex of my life last night with my wife. You were right. God was right. Thank you.”

I hung up the phone amazed at what God had done. And so, my message to you is this: It’s not to late to abstain from sexual immorality and watch God bless it.   I promise that sex done the way God intended it has no equal. No website, movie or one-night stand will ever satisfy you in the way you seek to be really satisfied. But you can’t do it by your own willpower. Just like Chris discovered, you need Jesus. And no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, He wants you, too.

AndrewAndrew is a gifted story teller and teacher who uses his skills to further the truth of the gospel through his stories.  He’s sung and told stories through 80 songs and countless stories. He wants to engage culture and influence change. He wants to ensure the marketplace is filled with strong stories that challenge people to seek out God, not just pleasure.   Andrew completed a 4 year degree at Cornerstone University with a Communication Arts major. He completed film school at Compass Arts Film Academy, where he focused on creating compelling stories and characters. He resides in Grand Rapids, Michigan with his wife and four children. You can connect with Andrew on his Facebook page here.


A note from Craig and Jen: Are you struggling with porn addiction? Is it ruining your sex life and/or your relationship with your partner? You can kick this – with Jesus. How do we know? We did it. Read our story.

Book Cover