Why I Want to Hug Russell Brand

RB

{I’m so honored to be at ForEveryMom.com this week with this post. Enjoy the teaser and then head on over here to continue reading.}

I never thought I’d actually want to hug Russell Brand. He’s one of those people who gave me pause. All I could see was his eclectic energy and behaviors. I had no idea about the real man.

Now, I want to invite him to dinner. I think we may have more in common than I first thought.

In case you missed it, Russell told the world his thoughts on pornography. He’s still dressed rather eclectically (does a sheet like-thing count as dressed?). He speaks quickly with energetic hand gestures, his eyes brimming with excitement. The whole time I listened, my ears strained to catch every word because here was a Hollywood man saying porn was dangerous, not only to the women and men enslaved by the industry but to the very people who watch it.

He admits that porn has affected his ability to relate not only to women, but also to himself. It’s had negative repercussions on both his sexuality and his spirituality. He says if he could go back, he’d never look at porn that very first time.

My husband would say the same thing. {come over here to keep reading}

Pornograhy, Eating Disorders and other Addictions

Unhealthy Cycles

I’ve spent most of my life thinking I’d never measure up. I believed being the best in something would assure me self-worth and unconditional love, but because I never was the best by the world’s standards, I often struggled with loving myself and receiving love from others.

I had this unrealistic expectation, though, that when I got married, I’d finally be “The One.” I’d be the best in my husband’s eyes, the one who got the prize, the one who was prized. Marriage would be my ticket to self-worth and unconditional love.

But then I found out he was addicted to porn. There goes the ticket.

This didn’t stop me from trying to be what I thought he wanted. I started exercising, eating healthily. I discovered the flat iron for my hair and switched facial products to try to improve my complexion. If we’d had the money, I would have considered a boob job because nothing in my box of hat tricks could change my genetic cards.

Guess what? The formula I had concocted in my head of “Shrinking Jen” = “Craig’s Shrinking Porn Use” didn’t add up. Despite my best efforts, how I looked did nothing to diminish Craig’s porn addiction. It took me years to discover that porn addiction had nothing to do with me, but everything to with how Craig chose to deal with life.

How did I come to this realization? Click here to continue on with my journey at Pamela Christian’s Book Corner.

Book Cover

To purchase, Pure Eyes, Clean Heart: A Couple’s Journey to Freedom from Pornograhy, click any of these links:

Amazon.com (Paperback and Kindle versions)

Discovery House Publishers (paperback)

Barnes and Noble (Paperback and Nook versions)

The book we wrote together…for you and for us.

Book Cover

Where to buy this book:

Amazon.com (Paperback and Kindle versions)

Discovery House Publishers (paperback)

Barnes and Noble (Paperback and Nook versions)

The book in a nutshell:

In this candid account, Craig and Jen Ferguson share their personal story of the shame, anger, and hopelessness associated with Craig’s porn addiction. It threatened to destroy their marriage until they discovered how drawing close to Christ could lead them out of the pit of sinful habits, unhealthy responses, and personal despair toward true recovery. Marked by biblical and practical guidance for addressing the heart issues that lead to addiction, Pure Eyes, Clean Heart offers encouragement and hope to those who struggle—or whose loved ones struggle—with the lure of pornography. Includes Scripture-based prayers, discussion questions for couples, and other helpful resources.

**************************

And now, for everything else  you’d want to know about the book, except, well, not everything because then you wouldn’t buy the book…

In short, this book is written by two ordinary people. A husband, Craig, whose porn addiction started way before he ever got married and a wife, Jen, who pretty much always had issues with control.

This marriage could have been disastrous, but God made it divine (at least most days). This book is our story of how we moved from the chains of addiction to freedom.  We are not licensed counselors. We are not miracle-workers. We don’t have all the answers and we surely do not have the perfect marriage.

But we do have Jesus. And He makes all the difference.

And because we have Jesus, we didn’t hold anything back. This book shows the good, the bad, and the ugly.  And porn addiction and the need to control everything are both pretty ugly things. While Craig and I celebrate freedom, there are no tidy packages here. Just a lot of hard work, a lot of grace, and a lot of leaning on Jesus.

Troublesome and dismal truth

Notes about the book’s structure:

This really was a team effort between husband and wife. There are 6 parts to this book and each part has 3 chapters. Jen writes the first chapter of each section from her perspective, Craig writes the second chapter of each section from his perspective, and we’ve used the third chapter to take the common theme  of the previous chapters and address the components in a way the couple can apply scriptural and secular research and ideas to their own marriage. Of course, we’ve included discussion questions for your enjoyment and enrichment. We know you love things like that.

Chains

We hope God uses this book in many ways, but most of all, we pray it gives you hope and to let you know that in this battle, you are NOT alone.

 

A Couple's Journey to Freedom from Pornography