Category Archives: Uncategorized

Marriage Meltdown Monday: How to Survive a Road Trip with Your Spouse

MMMRoadtrip

Craig and I have started a new video series @ The Knot Project on Facebook. New videos will post each Monday morning about topics that most marriages face. Some will be humorous, while some will tackle some of the more serious issues that threaten to weaken or destroy our marriages.

We’ve struck a lighter tone this week, but we hope you’ll come by and see us, whether you’re road tripping or not! We’d love to hear from you!

To see this week’s video, click here (it will stay pinned to the top until I post the next video in the series).

An Easter Message for your Marriage

EasterOvercameGrave

Yesterday was Easter Sunday, the day where God conquered death once and for all, where He took every sin we could possibly commit and paid for it with the ultimate sacrifice – Himself.

I think about the three days He laid in the tomb from Good Friday to Easter Sunday and the immense grief and darkness that came during that time. I imagine Mary, the disciples, and Mary Magdalene huddled at the foot of the cross, their anguish overwhelming. I envision Mary Magdalene at the tomb when she finds the body of her Savior and friend gone. It amazes me that she was even able to get out of bed to go to the tomb in the first place. Grief can be paralyzing.

The sermon on Sunday resounded with this simple message: Keep moving through grief, even if it’s simply putting one foot in front of the other, because you don’t want to miss the resurrection.

You don’t want to miss the resurrection.

As I sat in church, I pondered how this has played out in my own life, specifically in my marriage. Craig and I wrestled with porn for a decade. For 10 years, I was shrouded in grief, some times darker than others, as porn continually stole joy and safety and wholeness from us.

There were times we were unsure we would make it through. The darkness was so palpable we could barely see any light. The pain was so isolating, the problem so infuriating, the mountain seemingly insurmountable, the waves increasingly pounding against us. How could we ever survive this?

But we did.

It was long. It was hard. It was painful.

It was worth it.

Jesus’ death was long. It was hard. It was painful.

It was worth it.

The Resurrection came. The darkest of dark turned to light. The veil got torn. God won.

Our marriages can experience this same resurrection. While porn addiction feels like a death sentence, Jesus has overcome the grave.

What was dead can be brought back to life. What has been destroyed can be rebuilt. What seems insurmountable can be overcome.

Perhaps all you can do in your marriage right now, whether you are the one addicted or the one betrayed, is put one foot in front of the other.  That’s okay. It’s enough.

God is with you in the moving forward. He is in your every effort. He is there to receive every surrender, to forgive every sin, to trade every weakness for new strength. He’s already assumed every ounce of your shame so you no longer have to wear it.

The resurrection is coming.

Don’t miss it.

**************************************************************************Satan wants you to believe that you are beyond hope. Just as he thought he had won when Jesus was nailed to the tree, he thinks that porn addiction is a death sentence for your marriage.

But with Christ, we can do all things through Him who gives us strength. (Philippians 4:13)

This is not a cliche. This is Truth. May the ultimate resurrection breath new life into your heart and your marriage.

Periscope: How Marriage Can be like a Contact Sport

PeriscopeAd

Join us here on Periscope (between 2pm on 2/5- 2pm on 2/6) or Katch.me anytime after that! Today we’re talking about how our marriage might look like 2 boxers in a boxing ring and why this kind of contact isn’t fruitful.

There must be a better way. You know what? There is.

*NOTE: KatchTV originally stored all these Periscopes, but KatchTV is now shutting down. I transferred them to YouTube, but they are not perfect. So, if you can just ignore my head expanding randomly, you can still catch all of what I said.

 

Family Life Today Interviews: A big dose of hope for your marriage!

FamilyLife-Today-Dennis_RaineyBob_Lepine

Craig and I had the privilege to travel to Little Rock, Arkansas to be on Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine’s radio show for Family Life Today. Here are the links to the three programs we recorded if you’d like to listen. It’s a snapshot of our authentic struggle and filled with lots of hope!

Exposing the Darkness: It takes courage to break an addiction. Craig and Jen Ferguson, authors of the book, “Pure Eyes, Clean Heart,” talk to Dennis Rainey about their dating years. Jen recalls asking Craig if he viewed porn, and Craig admitted that he did, but what guy didn’t? Jen tucked his answer away in her heart. Little did she know that his response would later come back to haunt her.

Rebuilding Trust: All of us bring some baggage into our marriage. It’s when we unpack it later that it causes harm to our unsuspecting spouse. Authors Craig and Jen Ferguson talk about their early years of marriage. Jen shares what it was that first began to alert her to a problem with her husband, like his absence in the middle of the night, or random pay per view charges on their cable bill. It was the lack of intimacy, however, that alarmed her the most. Find out what Jen uncovered about Craig that left her stunned and heartbroken.

Breaking Old Cycles: Pornography is devastating to a marriage. Craig and Jen Ferguson talk openly about Craig’s battle with pornography. Find out what Craig did to break this stronghold in his life. Also hear Jen coach other wives who may be facing a similar situation in their marriage.

Also, our publishers, Discovery House, allowed Family Life to publish an excerpt of our book. To read Craig’s chapter about the 4 common delusions about pornography, just click here.

Blessings,

Jen

How to Travel with Porn is a part of your Life

PeriscopeAd

Today’s Periscope is all about how Craig and I dealt with traveling while he was in the hardest struggles of his porn addiction.  There are so many temptations to either engage with porn or WORRY about your spouse engaging in porn when y’all are apart from each other. Click the video or link below to hear what Craig and I did that really seemed to work for us while we were away from each other.

*NOTE: KatchTV originally stored all these Periscopes, but KatchTV is now shutting down. I transferred them to YouTube, but they are not perfect. So, if you can just ignore my head expanding randomly, you can still catch all of what I said.

How to Confess Porn Addiction to Your Spouse

PeriscopeAd

Happy 2016! I took 3 weeks off from scoping due to the holidays (and honestly, I was a bit emotionally drained), but now I’m back!

The new year often seems like a clean slate, time to get in with the new and out with the old. And confession is like a cleaning out of the soul, isn’t it? It’s so good to confess our sins, right? To stop living a lie and engage with the truth of Jesus.  But when we confess our porn use and addiction, our spouse may not see the clean slate. Here’s a scope on how you can confess your addiction to your spouse in a loving, caring way.

*NOTE: KatchTV originally stored all these Periscopes, but KatchTV is now shutting down. I transferred them to YouTube, but they are not perfect. So, if you can just ignore my head expanding randomly, you can still catch all of what I said.

New Podcast Out on Delight Your Marriage!

Belah Rose, host of Delight Your Marriage podcast invited me (Jen) to be on her show. The interview is in two parts:

DYM (3)

Part 1: In this episode, I talk about how porn created friction between me and Craig and made me doubt myself. I also discuss how I tried very hard to manipulate and control everything, but learned to let go later on. And because I had loosened up, I was able to help Craig with his porn addiction because I understood more, because I took a step back and saw the entire picture. Together, we fought against porn addiction and for our marriage. Listen to this podcast here.

DYM-6

Part 2: In this episode, I talk about what our marriage looks like today, after all the struggles, after all the pain and suffering. I talk about moving on to create a happier life, knowing that there is something good at the end. I share that marriage requires teamwork, and that it should always be the two of you. Also, don’t miss my intimacy tips!  Listen to this podcast here.

DYM-5

First Periscope: Our Story and some Encouragement

PeriscopeAd

If you don’t know what Periscope is, it’s a live stream video mobile app. The video is available for 24 hours through Periscope and you can find videos through Twitter handles. I signed up with Katch.me and so that records the video and makes it available for download and web views in case people can’t view it on Periscope within the 24 hours.

My first video was a little rocky at the beginning because of some technical difficulties, but God is good and they got all straightened out!

If you’d like to hear me tell part of our story of porn addiction and gather up some encouragement, especially if you’re dealing with porn in your marriage, just click the video below.